Alright, confession time: I have an addiction. (No, not to caffeine… okay, maybe that too now that I have a 3 month old.) But I’m talking about an addiction to progress.
Have you ever achieved something or received something that you’ve been wanting, praying for, for a long time, only to have the thought of, “Okay, what next?”
Over the last handful of years, I have struggled with being addicted to progress (and still working on it). Now, don’t get me wrong, working hard to achieve success is a really great thing. In fact, I’d rather have that than be a lazy bum who never did anything. However, this ‘always chasing the next thing’ mindset can wreck you. Achievement fatigue. Performance mode. The never-ending ‘I’m not good enough’ loop. (Sheesh, I’m really calling myself out here.) This all eventually bled into my relationships—especially my marriage—because, as they say, how you do one thing is how you do everything. It’s no surprise that this mindset shaped the way my husband and I navigated our relationship. Read more about our love story here.
Even as I’m writing this, those words make my skin crawl. It’s real, raw, and vulnerable stuff that doesn’t get talked about enough, especially in a society that applauds the successes of others but not the valleys as much. We double-tap the highlight reels on social media but rarely pick up the phone to check in. And trust me, I get it—because I’ve felt that, and maybe you’ve felt that too. I want to bring some light to this because maybe, just maybe, it’ll help you break free of this cycle faster than I did.
Just a disclaimer, I’m no professional, but I do believe experience can be an incredible teacher (or pain in the butt, whichever you prefer). I can only share from a place of what has worked for me and how I overcame my addiction to progression.
4 Points to Battle:
Point #1: Stay in Gratitude Consistently and Constantly 🙏🏼
I really didn’t understand the true power of gratitude until I was about 21 years old, and it changed my life forever (no cap). I grew up hearing “Be grateful for what you have,” but no one really sat down and explained why. Gratitude keeps our hearts focused on the positive, it creates resilience, and it even improves sleep! 💤
Whenever I was striving for progress, I was never truly grateful for what I had in front of me—even things I prayed for time and time again. As soon as I would achieve whatever I was working for, I immediately thought, “Okay, what next?” It left me feeling empty and unsatisfied, needing my next fix. (I was hooked.)
I remember clearly living in our first apartment together in Texas for about a year, and we finally had the finances to rent our first house. God made a way, and we found an awesome place with three bedrooms, three baths, a huge living room, and a sick loft space upstairs. It was huge! (We never even went into two of the rooms… ever.) But once we got the house, we celebrated a little, but never fully enjoyed it as a victory. If only I had been in a state of gratitude during that time, I would have felt more fulfilled and joyful.
Point #2: Remember Where You Came From & What You’ve Been Through 💭
Progress isn’t about being perfect—it’s about realizing you’re not where you started. When I actually take time to sit and think about where (or who) I was a month ago, a year ago, heck, five or ten years ago, I can confidently say I’m not her anymore. I’ve grown, I’ve learned, I’ve failed (and been hit in the face many times), and I’ve molded into my best version of myself—and still in progress!
My timeline, I realized, is going to look so different compared to someone else’s, and that’s okay! Hindsight is 20/20. I look back on some of the hardest seasons I’ve had to endure and know that I needed to go through that in order to grow through that. This helps me be content with where I am now because this too shall pass.
Point #3: Enjoy the Fruit You Picked Before It Goes Bad 🍎
You ever buy a whole bunch of fresh, delicious-looking fruit at one time, and all of a sudden almost all of it goes bad in the fridge because you didn’t eat it in time? (Yeah, RIP to the brown bananas 😢. At this point, I’ve personally killed more bananas than I care to admit. A tragedy.) That’s exactly how I picture not enjoying whatever it is I prayed for.
At times, I would get caught up in my own head, not enjoying whatever I had finally gotten, which led to achievement fatigue. It created this endless cycle of getting it, receiving it, and almost becoming bittersweet about it. How twisted is that? I would get what I had been longing for, but now that I had it… I didn’t care for it?
Looking back, I would have stayed inside the house a little longer, played with my friends a little more, eaten at the restaurant I had been dying to try, sat and talked a little longer with that person, and laughed a little more with my husband. All I can do now is eat my fruit while it’s ripe and enjoy every bite before it’s time to pick some more. (Especially mangoes. They’re my fav. 🥭)
Point #4: Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Lane Before You Drift 🚘
Back when I was in driver’s ed, I had my instructor in the front seat and another student in the backseat. I was doing great (in my opinion), and then I saw a blueberry stand on the side of the road. Naturally, as anyone would do, I locked in on the stand and yelled, “I love blueberries,” not realizing I was taking the car (and everyone in it) into oncoming traffic. My instructor nearly had a heart attack, screamed for me to watch out, and we luckily got back into our lane. (Think London Tipton learning to drive… at least everyone is still alive, okay? 🤷🏻)
The whole point of that story? When I take my eyes off my lane and look at someone else’s, I start to drift—and eventually, I can cause a wreck.
At times, I would blindly compare my lack to someone else’s abundance, which only fueled my addiction to progress. Social media made it even worse, showing me highlight reels of what I didn’t have, where I didn’t go, and who I wasn’t friends with. (Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me. 💁🏻♀️)
Turns out, scrolling through someone else’s highlight reel while ignoring your own life? Not the best move. Who knew?
Am I Still Addicted? 🆘
I believe this is something I battle with daily, but it does get easier over time. It’s something I work hard to fight because it’s truly robbed me of my joy, my peace, and moments in my relationships. I know I’ll always have that ambition to achieve my dreams and fight for success, but now I know it doesn’t have to be at the cost of being present and grateful for where I am and what I have, right now.
So tell me, are you secretly in this ‘progress addiction’ club too? Or am I just out here exposing myself to a wall?
I hope this post inspired you or at least made you laugh a little! If you liked it and want to read more content, subscribe for updates on my next post! (Don’t worry, no spamming from me – just an update!)
Beautiful insight and perspective. So good to be reminded to live in gratitude & enjoy this wonderful life & the people in it with us. We only get one, right?! Gotta make it count. Thanks for sharing!! ❤️