What I Wish I Knew About Life After Birth – Embracing the First Month of Motherhood 👶🏻

There I was, sitting in bed on our first night home from the hospital, holding Heaven Mei in my arms as she screamed her tiny lungs out. My husband, Kaleb, was frantically adjusting pillows while I fought back tears, wondering why feeding her had seemed so much easier in the hospital. That first week—actually, the entire first month—felt like a survival show (minus the wild animals, though I wouldn’t have been surprised if one showed up at that point).

From the moment my water broke to placing a tiny “One Month” plaque beside her for pictures, everything was a whirlwind. It honestly felt like the nurses had just handed us an infant, buckled her into the car seat, and said, “Here ya go—good luck!” (Spoiler: the owner’s manual didn’t help either 📔).

I want to share some of my biggest takeaways from that first month—things I wish I had known. Some of these, you’ll only truly understand once you experience them firsthand, but hopefully, they bring you a little peace of mind as you navigate this wild, beautiful season. And if you’re looking for even more ways to find peace, you can read about them by clicking HERE.

I don’t love the term postpartum—it feels clinical and detached—so I’ll just say post-pregnancy or the first month. Because truthfully? It’s what you make of it. Every baby is different, every mom’s journey is different, and you will find your way.

A few months ago, if you’d asked me what I expected from motherhood, I probably would’ve said something about personal growth and figuring out my next steps in this new season. And while that wasn’t wrong, I had no idea just how much life was about to change—for the better.

So, let’s break it down…

1. No One Expects Anything from You in the First Month—So Stop Expecting It from Yourself 👏🏻

I don’t know if it was my inner high achiever kicking in, but I put way too much pressure on myself—thinking I should be answering texts, getting back to the gym (LOL), running errands (wasn’t every mom at Target?), or just “bouncing back” into life.

Thank God for my incredible husband, who absolutely crushed the support I needed during that time 🏆. He reminded me that it took nine months for my body to create, grow, and deliver a whole human—so yeah, it was going to take time to recover. Healing and rest were my priorities (two things that ambitious Jade is still learning).

So here’s your permission slip:
📌 The texts can wait. People understand.
📌 You don’t have to go anywhere. Your job is to heal.
📌 If someone offers help, take it. Sleep. Eat. Shower. Let them fold the laundry, hold the baby, etc.

You are not falling behind—you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to.

2. Your Mental Health is PRIMO (and So is Dad’s) 💭

I’ve always known the importance of mental and emotional health, but post-pregnancy? It’s a whole new level.

One minute, I’d be crying for no reason. The next, a minor inconvenience would make me super frustrated. And let’s not forget the sleep deprivation (the cherry on top). As someone who thrives on routines and structure, that first month was a doozy. My morning walks? Gone. Devotional time, journaling, reading? Also gone. Keeping track of the actual day of the week? A luxury I no longer had.

But here’s the thing: It’s all temporary.

My job wasn’t to do all the things. My job was to heal and care for my baby. Whether that meant sleeping whenever I could, staying hydrated (breastfeeding thirst is unreal), or remembering to actually eat, that was the priority.

And let’s talk about Dad for a second—because he’s adjusting too. Sure, Mom’s doing the physical recovery, but if Dad is hands-on with feeding, diaper changes, and support, that’s a blessing. When Mama’s mental health is good, baby feels it 💯. When you’re anxious and overwhelmed, they feel that too. So take care of YOU. Step outside for fresh air. Take that hot bath (I used to hate baths, and then became  an advocate during that first month). Sleep. Drink water. 

3. You Won’t Feel Like This Forever ⌛

This too shall pass.

(Did I mention my husband got this phrase on a shirt for me while I was pregnant? Complete with a fat sailor cat navigating treacherous waters? I love him.)

😶 Emotions will mess with you. You’ll have all the thoughts:

Will I ever sleep again?
How do people willingly have seven kids?
Will I ever fit into my jeans? Will I ever get back to the gym?
Am I actually losing my mind?

⏪ But here’s what I wish I could have told myself:

By literally month three, I was back at the gym (hello, Hot Mom era).
My body was healing.
My routines started coming back (in a new way).
My baby started sleeping 6-8 hours at night by 3.5 months (HALLELUJAH).
My relationship with Kaleb looked different, but we figured out new ways to stay connected (walks with the stroller, nights playing competitive Scrabble and talking about the future, you know, the usual)

The unknown was the scariest part. But now? I know things do fall into place. Just give it time.

4. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate 💬

This is huge. If you need something, say it. Your partner is not a mind reader (I keep forgetting that one..)

One of the best things Kaleb and I did during pregnancy was work on our communication—whether it was speaking up about hard feelings, asking for help, or just making sure we were a safe place for each other (it was like dating each other all over again!).

I had to learn to let go and allow him to be the support I needed. If I was struggling physically, I had to speak up. If I just needed a hug or someone to process emotions with, I had to say it. And thankfully, he showed up for me every time.

If you haven’t already, set up that foundation with your partner. It will make all the difference.

Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This 🙌🏻

Right now, as I write this, I’m sipping hot coffee (shocking, I know), while my now four-month-old is peacefully napping. It’s been an awesome four months; I feel like I’ve really grown a ton.

We survived the first month. And you will too.

💛 You will figure it out.
💛 You are a great parent.
💛 And I am 100% in your corner.

If you ever want to connect, drop a comment or sign up for my emails below. I’d love to hear your biggest surprises about life after birth. 💕

I hope this post inspired you or at least made you laugh a little! If you liked it and want to read more content, subscribe for updates on my next post! (Don’t worry, no spamming from me – just an update!)

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